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Recent retiree--35 year's experience teaching reading, English, adult basic education and volunteer leadership skills. Started this blog to exchange ideas and commentary with friends and others having an interest in joining the discussions. Greatest life accomplishments include: 1.organized my 3rd grade class to check out library books for me to get around librarian's weekly limit--Amazon.com, the Mullins Elementary 3rd Grade Class of 1956 is still waiting for "thank you" notes; 2. volunteered in the Peace Corps, island of St. Kitts, West Indies; 3.taught adults to read, earn their GEDs., and speak English as a second language; 4. bought a border collie puppy for $6, got evicted rather than give him up, and began a life-long love affair with all things "Dog"; 5. joined a physical fitness boot camp in my mid-50s--don't mess with someone who's been doing regulation pushups in wet grass at 5:30 a.m.; 6. walked across Northern England with best friend Sally--over 80 miles from the Irish to North Seas; and 7. travelled to many foreign countries for pleasure and work.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Love Lost and Found, Part 1

(Musings on love and marriage is what Hoosier Girl ,our host for this week's Fun Monday, is looking for. She wants to know what we consider important in a good marriage or relationship. And, do we have any stories or images of love that we're willing to share. If real life experience were a prerequisite for participation, I'd have to sit this one out for I have never even come close to marrying except perhaps once. And, when I think of the men on my "boulevard of broken dreams" I'm not sure I ever truly loved any of them enough to live differently from how I've chosen to live for over 60 years. Even so, I know that I've had--have--a very romantic, adventurous life. Come with me to Tuscany and I'll explain. Oh yes, we'll also need to take a brief detour to England to explain the title of this post--Love Lost and Found.)


Villa L'Apparita is situated in the rolling hills overlooking Siena in the Tuscan region of Italy. According to it's owner, the writer Giovanni Guiso, it is the most beautiful farmhouse in Tuscany. Dott. Guiso made this grand pronouncement when he entertained the group of gardeners that I was traveling with on a horticultural tour of Florence and Tuscany in 2000. The farmhouse was built in the late 1400s and was indeed beautiful, especially the rosy brick facade, the arched doorways covered with clipped greenery that could accommodate horses and mounting posts in the lower level, and these lovely red roses--the flowers of love--growing up the walls.

Visiting this garden was different from other Tuscan gardens. While the surrounding landscape was beautiful, our host had more theatrical interests that he wanted to share. For he was involved with Siena's theatrical society, writing and designing costumes. He also used Villa L'Apparita as a stage for some of his productions. Before lunch we gathered in a small drawing room for a miniature opera in his puppet theater. Everywhere there were reminders that this place existed to celebrate the beauty of love, landscape, and words. Here are two examples that I've carried with me for almost ten years. They remind me of how I want to live my life.

"Jai longtemps habite' sous de vaster porticos." Baudelaire ("I have long lived under vast porticos.") This was the inscription on the stuccoed wall by the door leading into the living area of the villa. When I heard the translation, I was just floored. Like Baudelaire, I have "long lived under vast porticos." My life has been filled with exciting adventures, experiences, and opportunities. I've tried to live romantically by always saying "yes" to every new experience, trying not to hesitate or fear making the wrong decision. I have been rewarded. Sometimes my head just whirls with memories of the past and what I'm interested in right now. Even in low times--and don't we all have them--I know that life will eventually be good again. This is what you get when you're willing to live romantically.


"Perduto e tutto il tempo che in amore non so' spende" from "Aminta" by Italian poet T. Tasso ("Lost is time not spent in loving."). This quote was inscribed on the terra cotta column near an outdoor theater beside the villa. Imagine watching a play of love, grand or common, here as the sun sets over Siena in the distance. Very romantic! How wise of Tasso to remind us that love comes in many forms, except perfection. Time spent grieving for someone or something that we cannot have, or that is not right for us, is time lost. What a hard lesson to learn when you are sure that your heart is broken by a love that you cannot find or keep. It's a lesson I finally learned. Even though I may not have a life partner, I love a lot--friends two and four-legged, community, ideas, learning, books, music, travel and more. At times I wonder how I would have enjoyed sharing my life with another on a daily basis, but I do not grieve for what did not happen.

Now we'll need to save the English detour to this love lost and found tale for another day out of consideration for Fun Monday readers. Check back on Wednesday or Thursday for the rest of the story. In the meantime, be sure to check out Hoosier Girl's Coffee Table for other wise stories about love and marriage.



12 comments:

Sayre said...

But for the two men in my life, I would have chosen your life for my own. Going places, seeing things, experiencing life in a way that can really only be done alone... If I ever find myself alone again, I do not think I would look for love in another man again. I would spend the rest of my life loving the world and all it has to offer.

Beautiful, Faye.

Lil Mouse said...

In book of questions assessing how we could best assist our church, one of the sets of questions had to do with being married, and one of them stated that they believed that being single helped further their belief in God and that it helped not to be burdened with a relationship and family to take care of, so they could spend their life for God. I found that an interesting notion. I have known others who married several times and got it wrong and decided to live alone or with other women or cats! as roommates. They didnt seem heartbroken over it. They accepted their life. I wish I could be more like you. I second guess everything and it keeps me rooted still. Hard to fly that way.

The Church Lady said...

Never say never. Love seems to come along when we least expect it. It is great that you have experienced travel and that you are truly happy in your life. That is all that matters. Thanks for sharing your pictures and story.

Bobbie Leigh said...

That was so beautifully written, how adventurous your life has been! I agree with Sayre, I wish I could have experienced even one of your travels in my lifetime.

Janis said...

Faye you are the perfect example that life can be full, loving, romantic and adventurous without a man. Too many people feel like they need a partner to feel complete. Your are enjoying life to the fullest and you are happy from within. I commend you girl, for doing what your inner voice is telling you to do.

Hoosier Girl said...

Wow...What beautiful pictures. I can't wait to hear the rest of the story!

J.

Molly said...

Whether we marry or not, we should all follow your good eaxample of living and loving the good life filled with new and rewarding experiences. Then, we have so much more to offer in all of our relationships romantic and otherwise.

karisma said...

Ahhhhh! Beautiful post my love, thoroughly enjoyed the romanticism. Now NEVER say NEVER, you are still among the living I presume? You never know who is going to pop round the corner with his four legged friend and sweep you off your feet now do you? Just sayin'

Oh and beautiful flowers!

m (the misanthrope) said...

Yay, can't wait to read the rest of the story! And I second what Sayre and Janis said. If I ever ended up single again, I think I would revel in what that means, the freedom to love life and experience everything it has to offer. (Not that you can't do that in a relationship, but it's just a bit different.) And yes, I do believe we might possibly be sisters!!

Lane said...

Being open to saying yes to new opportunities is probably the most 'romantic' way to live possible.

Lovely post faye and I look forward to Part 2.

Jeanna said...

That is unbelievably cool. I was a theater major in school and there's not a very good scene or much of a history here for that.

Debs said...

Love the photos, and enjoyed the story.